


Lovin' you hurts

by StariNights



Series: Tumblr Requests [1]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, JUST, Kissing, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Tumblr Prompt, oh my goodness why do i do this to my boy spot, sooooo much angst, spot punches a wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 19:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StariNights/pseuds/StariNights
Summary: //Prompt: Kisses because everything hurts right now including being loved by you but you’re also the only thing that makes it feel better//(Aka in which Spot is scared and Race loves him anyways)





	Lovin' you hurts

Racetrack knew something was off the moment Spot didn't show up at Sheepshead to walk with him for their weekly poker night. He waited for what felt like an hour, though in reality, it was only about ten minutes. He shrugged it off, probably got busy. He ignored the quiet voice in his head telling him that Spot hadn't missed picking him up for the whole three months he's done it.

He put out his cigar and made his way to the lodgings anyways. After all, just because Spot didn't walk with him didn't mean he wasn't still pals with the Brooklyn newsies. He hadn't missed a poker night yet and he wasn't going to start now.

The next thing he noticed was that Spot was nowhere to be seen when he sat down and Copper dealt him in. He asked Spades about it and she just shrugged.

"Ain't no one seen him since this mornin'" something awful twisted inside Race's gut. It wasn't like Spot to just disappear, especially not on poker nights.

He played a few hands, thoroughly wrecking everyone except Spades before he excused himself up to Spot's private room. "Ima go check up on 'im, make sure he ain't lost without me" he gave them all a winning smile, masking his anxieties.

"Fucking finally! Maybe I'll be able to actually win this time" Spades rolled her eyes and flicked Sticks in the side of his head.

"Dream on kid, ain't no way you's beatin' me," she said, leaning back in her chair

The game continued without him as he ascended the stairs up to Spot's attic. He knocked softly on the old door, leaning on the door frame.

"Fuck off, Spades. I ain't comin' down" came Spot's muffled voice through the door.

The door creaked when he pushed it open. "Ain't Spades. Someone better" he said, closing the door behind him.

Spot was sitting by the window, smoking. He looked at Race blankly for a moment before turning back to the window and Race had to stifle a gasp.

There was a deep purple bruise on his jaw and one of his eyes was almost swollen shut. He walked over to him and sat in front of him, reaching out to touch his face. "What the hell happened to you?"

Spot pulled back, grimacing, and swatted his hands away. "I's fine Racer. Ain't like I ain't been in fights before" he shrugged, holding up his hand so Race could see his bruised and scabbed over knuckles "'sides, you should see the other guy"

Race rolled his eyes, least his ego's still intact. "Okay, _stronzo_ , why you's fightin' anyway? Ain't no one knowingly messes with tha king a Brooklyn" he grinned playfully, poking Spot in the side.

Spot just glared at him, shoving his hands away "some asshole. Like I says, it doesn't matter"

Race furrowed his eyebrows "what's wrong wit ya? Why're you's bein such a stick in the mud?"

"I just ain't in the mood for your shit tonight, Higgins" he grumbled, not looking Race in the eye.

Race focused on the name instead of the shooting pain in his heart, "Higgins? Damn Conlon, didn't know we's was back to last names" he tried to smile but Spot just stared silently out the window, "seriously Spotty, what's wrong? You ain't never missed a poker night and you's always come and walk wit me"

"What? I's always gotta come get ya for poker? I ain't your babysitter, Higgins. And I ain't always in the mood for poker" his voice was laced with spite and it pierced Race's heart. He didn't know why Spot was acting like this, but it fucking hurt.

"Who the hell spit in yer food? Why are ya bein such an asshole?"

"I's just tired, Racer, you're fucking exhausting'" he spat, and Race felt something sting at the back of his eyes.

"Oh really? You's tired a me? Well ya sure weren't tired a me when ya had your tongue down my throat last night" he spat back.

"Well, maybe that was a mistake!" Race flinched when Spot raised his voice, and he looked like he wanted to take it all back. He opened his mouth to do just that but closed it again and stared at the floor.

"I thinks you should go"

Race felt like he had just been slapped. He was confused, then hurt for a moment, but then the hurt turned to anger. He stood up but didn't leave. How dare he think he could just tell Race to leave before he could say his piece? He may be the King of Brooklyn but that didn't give him a free pass to just treat anyone however he wanted.

"Mistake? So, the entire past month? Was that just a fuckin mistake to you?!" His voice rose with every word, to the point where he was almost shouting.

"No, no fuck you. You don't get to say that. Not after everythin'. I don't care about the kissin', we ain't gotta do that but fuck Spotty, we's been friends for fuckin' years. You can't just decide to end that without givin' me a good fuckin' explanation as ta why!"

Spot stood up too, clenching his fists at his sides "maybe I's just tired a ya! Yous so fuckin needy all the time! I's fucking busy! I ain't got time ta make sure I see ya every day an' then you's gets pissy when I don't come visit ya at the tracks" he clenched his fists tighter and Race could tell he wanted to punch something. So he latched onto that instead of the words that made his eyes burn with tears.

"What? You's gonna hit me? Well do it, you fuckin' coward! Fucking hit me right here!" He took a step forward and gestured to his face.

He scrunched up his eyes when Spot took a swing but the hit never came. Instead, he heard a sickening crack and when he opened his eyes he saw Spot with his fist through the wall.

The energy seemed to dissipate in him and he slumped forward. Race almost started screaming again but then Spot started to shake.

"F-Fuck-" his voice broke and tears started dripping from his eyes. Race felt his anger fall away as Spot pulled his hand out of the wall and blood dripped from his newly-busted knuckles.

"Jesus, Spotty" he stepped forward and cupped the crying boy's face. He thumbed at the tears still falling down his cheeks and pressed a kiss to his forehead. It was jarring, seeing Spot cry like this. Race couldn't remember a time he'd ever seen Spot cry. He didn't know what to do, he just knew he wanted it to stop.

Spot placed a hand over Race's "I's sorry, Racer. I-I didn't mean any a that. Honest it's just-" he was cut off by a choked sob and Race pulled him into a hug, rubbing circles in his back and pressing kisses in his hair, "Them boys I soaked today, they's beatin' up on Blue cause they saw 'im kissin' a fella" Race pulled him out to arms length to look him in the eye as he continued on "It just got me thinkin', that could be us. We's illegal, Racer"

Race tried to grin "since when have you cared none bout somethin' bein' illegal?"

Spot didn't return his smile "This ain't no joke, Racer. We's could end up dead an I's-" he took a shaky breath "I's scared Racer"

Race felt his own eyes burn with tears as Spot continued "I's scared we's gonna get caught, I's scared you's gonna get hurt, I's scared I's gonna lose you-"

"Spotty-" Spot grabbed his face, holding him softly in place.

"I's scared a fallin' in love with ya"

Race couldn't help it. He surged forward, catching Spot's lips in his. It was sloppy and full of feelings but they didn't stop. Race tangled his hands in Spot's hair, pulling him impossibly closer. The kiss was desperate. It was full of fear and confusion and love. So so much love.

When they finally separated they were both gasping for air and their cheeks were wet with tears. "I's scared too Spotty, but," he pressed his forehead to Spot's "what I feel when I's kissin' ya it-" he huffed out a laugh and closed his eyes "It's like nothin' I's ever felt before"

Spot huffed out a laugh though there wasn't much humor in it "we's gonna get in trouble"

"Who cares? Least we's got each other, right?" Spot answered by pressing their lips together once more. It was slower than the first but just as desperate.

"You ain't gonna lose me," Race said between kisses, "never. I ain't never leavin' ya" Spot finally cracked a smile, pulling Race back in for another soft kiss.

What they were was dangerous, but when Race pulled back only to kiss the sunspots all across his face Spot knew he could never give this up. Not when it was the best thing he'd ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> ooooooooooooooooooooh that hurts my soooooooooooul. i dont even know if i really fit the prompt but i still like it. Also Stronzo means asshole in Italian because i fucking live for Italian Race.
> 
> This was a request! You can request shit too @allthenewsiesaregay-bitch on that one hell site tumblr!


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